The Au Pair by Emma Rous

Author:Emma Rous
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2019-01-07T16:00:00+00:00

18

Laura

December 1991

CHRISTMAS AT MUM’S was miserable. Beaky interrogated me on a range of subjects: Dominic’s job; whether Vera would hand Summerbourne over to Ruth one day; whether the family had given me a Christmas bonus. I had only applied for the au pair job at his insistence—I still remembered his exact words on the day I left hospital and moved back home: “Get down to the agency first thing tomorrow. Let’s see how you like looking after someone else’s brat.” Now that he realized I was genuinely fond of my small charge, he grew increasingly critical of the slightest change in me and mimicked anything I said in a mock upper-class accent.

“Oh, we don’t do it like this at Summerbourne,” he would say. And then, “I saw your ex down the Feathers again last night. Had a nice chat with him. He couldn’t remember your name.”

“Don’t listen to him, love,” Mum told me afterward. “He’s just not used to you growing up yet. Just don’t go on too much about this Summerbourne, yeah? It gets his back up.”

I spent most of the fortnight in my old bedroom. My Bon Jovi posters had been peeled off the walls, and Beaky’s boxes of duty-free wine took up most of the floor space, but my bed was still there, with my swimming trophies lined up along the shelf above it. I sat cross-legged on the bed with my textbooks open, wondering if my ex-boyfriend remembered shoving me out the door, calling me an attention-seeking bitch. He was the total opposite of Alex.

My thoughts drifted frequently to the way Alex looked at me when he asked me about myself, and the way he listened to me with a half smile forming. I wondered whether he would come back to Summerbourne, and whether he knew yet about Ruth’s pregnancy. I thought about Ruth on the beach saying, “He’d love to have children of his own, of course.” My notes grew dimpled with tears.

On Christmas morning I hid in that room to unwrap my presents from the Mayes family: a beautifully soft lamb’s wool scarf with matching gloves from Ruth and Dominic, an address book from Vera, and a box of chocolates from Edwin. Mum cooked a turkey with roast potatoes and chipolatas, but my stomach was unsettled all day, and I could only pick at the meal and duck away from Beaky’s permanent glare.

My birthday two days after Christmas was uneventful. Mum gave me a book, and some pajamas that were too small for me. My friends were all busy, and I hadn’t mentioned the date to the Mayes family. I read my new book in my room and munched my way through the chocolates. When Pati, Jo, and Hazel called by a couple of days later, I told them I was too unwell to come out. I didn’t feel like explaining Summerbourne to anyone else, and I didn’t relish hearing about their new lives either.

Returning to Summerbourne was like waking from a bad dream.

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